Altralto

Hey folks, thanks for reading my little blog entry. It’s been awhile since I last posted – been busy. Anyway, when we bought this house, we knew that one of the first things that had to go was the kitchen. The cupboards were OK as they were new from Ikea. But that ceramic backsplash and counter top were hideous.

We had shopped around four stores for the granite counter. The absolute best place for granite in the Montreal area is Italbec (italbec.com) with the price about $1500 below the next best price. We had chosen 3/4″ Caledonia with standard nosing, however, for only about $500 more we went with the 1 1/4″.

The whole project started on Monday morning and was done by Friday afternoon – only two and a half days without a kitchen sink!

kitchen reno

What really sucked here is when we took off the ceramic there was a goddamm sheet of 1/4″ plywood.  More work!

Let’s put some of waterproof gypsum board (or gypse) for the back wall.

I was watching Mad Max the other night with my wife when, right at the beginning of the flick, there’s a playback of footage (probably representing his memory) of his wife being run over, when she said, “Hey, did you notice how his wife dies in this movie too?” The other movie I was thinking was Signs where she gets crushed between a car and a tree and gets her last words with her husband, Mel, who, ironically, is a priest. My wife wasn’t thinking about Signs, she was thinking about Lethal Weapon. This is when I knew I was onto something.

I quickly typed up the following movies off the top of my head (seriously folks, I didn’t check out imdb) where Mr. Gibson is a widower:

1. Mad Max
2.3.4.5. Lethal Weapon (all four of them, come on now, they count)
6. Braveheart
7. The Patriot
8. Signs

That’s eight flicks people. That’s right count ‘em. eight. The only other actor I figure comes in second is Lost’s Terry O’Quinn (yeah, John Locke) with his Stepfather movies (two of them in each of which it is assumed he killed several wives technically making him a widower many times over).

Mad Max (1979)
Mad Max is set in a dystopian near-future society suffering from a prolonged fuel shortage. Civil order is rapidly deteriorating and lawless gangs rampage across the desolate landscape, in defiance of the crumbling police force, the Main Force Patrol (MFP).

An escaped cop killer, the Nightrider, is killed during a high-speed pursuit by a young MFP patrolman, Max Rockatansky. The Nightrider’s comrades, a motorcycle gang led by the Toecutter, hold Max responsible and kill his partner, Jim Goose, when he attempts to bring them to justice for a violent spree in a small country town.

Distraught at Goose’s horrific death, Max walks away from the violence of the MFP and attempts to build a peaceful life with his wife Jessie and their infant son, Sprog.

Meanwhile, the Toecutter is still hungry for revenge for the Nightrider’s death.

Max, now resigned from the MFP, is spending time with his family in a secluded beachfront area when the Toecutter Gang stumble across their hideaway. Jessie and Sprog are brutally murdered.

Deranged with grief, Max equips himself with a black supercharged “Pursuit Special” Interceptor and sets out to track down the gang and avenge the deaths of his family.

Lethal Weapon (1987)
Roger Murtaugh has just turned 50, and only has a few more years to go before he retires from the Los Angeles Police Department. Martin Riggs has just lost his wife in an accident, and doesn’t care if he lives or dies. When they are paired together, Murtaugh has problems with Riggs suicidal attitude towards work, as they investigate a drugs baron dubbed “The General”.

Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)
South African smugglers find themselves being hounded and harassed by Riggs and Murtaugh, two mismatched Los Angeles police officers. However, the South Africans are protected by diplomatic immunity and so the duo are assigned to witness protection duty in an attempt by their captain to keep his job. It is only when this witness reveals to them that he has already dealt with the smugglers that the trouble really starts

Lethal Weapon 3 (1992)
Police officers Riggs and Murtaugh team together for the third time. This time they must track down a guy who has robbed weapons from the Los Angeles police depot. Riggs and Murtaugh also have to deal with Leo Getz, the hectic guy from Lethal Weapon 2 and Riggs has very special problems with a young and beautiful female police officer.

Braveheart (1995)
Braveheart is the partly historical, partly mythological, story of William Wallace, a Scottish common man who fights for his country’s freedom from English rule around the end of the 13th century.

Lethal Weapon 4 (1998)
With personal crises and age weighing in on them, LAPD officers Riggs and Murtaugh must contend with a deadly Chinese crimelord trying to get his brother out of prison.

The Patriot (2000)
The movie takes place in South Carolina in 1776. Benjamin Martin, a French-Indian war hero who is haunted by his past, is a patriot who wants no part in a war with Britian. Meanwhile, his two eldest sons, Gabriel and Thomas, can’t wait to go out and kill some Redcoats. When South Carolina decides to go to war with Britain, Gabriel immediatly signs up to fight…without his father’s permission. But soon, Colonel Tavington, British solder infamous for his brutal tactiks, captures Gabriel and sentences him to be hanged. As Gabriel is taken away, Thomas tries to free him, only to be killed by Tavington, in front of Benjamin. Now, seeking revenge for his son’s death, Benjamin leaves behind his 5 other children to bring independence to the 13 colonies.

Signs (2002)
Things go awry when Graham Hess (Mel Gibson) and his brother, Merrill (Joaquin Phoenix), awake early one morning to find the dogs barking and the children–Bo, and her brother Morgan (Rory Culkin)–wandering bleary eyed in the corn fields. They discover a pattern of perfectly carved crop circles left the night before. Trying not to overreact, Graham ignores the media frenzy that has permeated all television and radio stations, and even shrugs off the oddly familiar information that Morgan reads in his book about extraterrestrials invading earth. The real challenge for Graham is to find the faith he needs to pull himself, and his family, through this unexplainable
series of events.

Terry O'Quinn as The Stepfather

there readers!  It’s been a while since I last posted.  Had nothing good to post for with Super Bowl coming up and all that.  Anyways, a real estate friend of mine sent me these photos of Tiger Woods’ home.  Unfortunately, I don’t know how many homes he’s got, or where this one is.  I’m just worried for the guy should his wife, Swedish swimsuit model Elin Nordegren push for a divorce.

I don’t think I’ll see any of these in Montreal anytime soon.  I am used to seeing the occasional Lambo, Ferrari, and Bentley – but the Veyron?  Here’s something we found this morning on Autoblog.

There are frightening bills, horrific bills, and Bugatti Veyron bills. The legendarily expensive to buy, it seems that the Veyron is equally expensive to keep running, with some pegging yearly running costs at $300,000. It’s so expensive, in fact, that Autocar says there’s an owner who trailers his car to a particular driving route, then follows behind in a private jet. 

Let’s just take the tires, for example: in the U.S., the Michelin Pilot Sport 2s fashioned with the Veyron’s unique compound cost about $30,000; in the UK they’re £23,500 ($38,216 U.S.). Bugatti recommends you change them every 4,000 kilometers, or 2,500 miles, and at every ten thousand miles the company recommends changing the wheels and tires, which runs north of $50,000.

In between those wheel changes will be things like routine maintenance, with a major annual service setting you back about $20,000. None of this is particularly unexpected so long as you remember the Veyron is more a roadgoing Space Shuttle than a car. And we won’t even begin to talk about how expensive pelican insurance has become…

Ahh!  The joy of a cruise. If you’re an experienced cruise traveler you know what it means.  If you’ve never been on a cruise, it is only a matter of taking your first one and you’ll be hooked for life.

No travel experience in the world offers the pleasures of a cruise. It’s the ultimate stress free vacation. All-inclusive service, delicious food, luxury amenities, fantastic weather and exotic destinations are just a few of the factors that make cruising the fastest growing segment of the travel industry.

Now, what if you could combine all of that with a discount of up to 75% off?

Believe it or not, it’s possible from a company called Vacations To Go.

Way back in 1984, Vacations To Go realized that cruise companies had a dilemma. Their profits relied on selling most of their cabins well in advance at full price.  They couldn’t offer steep discounts on unsold cabins because people would just wait until the last minute and then all cabins would be sold at a discount. Vacations To Go approached the cruise lines with a way for them to sell their unsold cabins at a deep discount without affecting their full price market.

How did they do it?

Simply put, the cruise lines allow Vacations To Go to re-market their unsold cabins to their exclusive and highly confidential client list at huge discounts from the regular price.

Vacations To Go has now provided more than a million of their “members” with dream vacations at a fraction of the regular price, often as much as 75% off.  It has also achieved the highest level of recognition possible for exceptional sales and superior service from every major cruise line in the world.

So how do you get onto this exclusive and confidential list?

That’s the easy part – all you have to do is register on their web site.  That’s how you become a “member” and Vacations To Go is then authorized by the cruise lines to offer you these amazing deals.

It’s completely free and once you’re registered you’ll instantly have access to some really cool features.

The “90-Day Ticker” is a complete listing of last-minute cruise deals on the world’s best cruise lines, showing information on destination stops, port city, ship type and much more.  Customers frequently save more than half what they would normally pay, often up to an amazing 75 percent off.

And it’s not just last minute deals that can have huge savings.  The “Find A Bargain” feature shows special early bird discounts, two-for-one deals and promotions for seniors, military personnel and others that they’ve negotiated with top cruise lines.

Vacations To Go offers one of the widest selections of cruises.  If you know exactly what you want, or if you are new to cruising and are looking for help in selecting the cruise best suited to your individual needs, www.vacationstogo.com is the place to start your cruise adventure.

It’s sad when people fall out of love. But dissolving an unhealthy, unhappy marriage is a good thing, and it takes a lot of courage to stand up and say, “We deserve better.”

Divorce parties not only let us close the door on that misery, these rites of passage provide the ritual we need to help us heal. They offer us a way to celebrate a new independence, to thank those who have stood by us through the muck, and to announce to the world that we are ready to move on in life. Finally, it’s official.

Save the Date

It’s tempting to set a date for your party as soon as divorce proceedings get under way. But muster up all your patience and wait until things are just short of being finalized. Like any social gathering, your party will require some preparation ahead of time, and you don’t want to be thinking about guest lists and napkin rings in the throes of legal negotiations. You’ll be in much better spirits if you show up at your divorce party with decree in hand.

The Guesting Game

Divorce party guest lists come in all shapes and sizes, and the only factor that determines who you invite is personal comfort level. Would you feel better surrounded by guests of the same sex, or does a co-ed event feel more like a celebration? Do you want to just hang with other divorcees? Does it feel right to bring together only the people who have stood by you through this many-monthed mammoth of a nightmare or are you hoping for something more inclusive, with coworkers and neighbors? Are you on really (really, really) good terms with your ex and feel that they should be there? The only right answers to these questions can come from you, so put some thought into it and — if it helps — start with a long list and whittle it down.

Deck the Halls

The intensely organized go so far as to print up invitations, arrange a gift registry (ideal for those who lost it all in settlement) and announcements for their party. Some get a kick out of decorating the party space (rented-out restaurant, bar, friend’s house, etc.) with streamers, obscenely decorated cakes, voodoo dolls, piñatas, balloons and bowls of snack food. Get some ideas from Christine Gallagher, a writer from L.A., who published a book in 2003 called The Divorce Party Planner: How to Throw a Divorce or Breakup Party and has sold thousands on her website, http://www.revengelady.com/.

One word to the wise: decorations, catered food and other props can ring up a hefty tally, so be realistic about what you can afford with your new single-income earning status and stay within that budget.

Pieces of the Action

Besides the usual telling of (hopefully by now) funny stories and making plans for the future, the activities at your divorce party can be as uneventful or as coordinated as you like. I’ve read of some recently divorced folks who have hired officiates or asked a close friend to perform a short, meaningful sermon about healing and the joy of change, and about a woman who asked her mother to lead a renaming ceremony in which she symbolically gave her daughter back her maiden name.

Others still have projected First Wives Club or War of Roses in one area of the gathering and had a ceremonial burning of the marriage license in another area. Don’t feel pressured to include any of these aspects if they don’t feel right to you. A low-key gathering of a few close friends can be just as momentous as one that takes months to organize. The details of your party should reflect your mood and own personal style.

And Just Don’t…

Even if your divorce party is lush with hot and horny singles, it’s probably best not to fool around with one of them at or just after the gathering. After all, this is an event intended to celebrate your newly reclaimed independence, and bringing a sexual interest into the picture now complicates your newfound simplicity of lifestyle.

Other experiences to avoid at your fete include getting totally trashed (you don’t want to want to get all weepy or confrontational), destroying any tangible memories of your marriage’s happy times (your wedding album and keepsakes from your courting days might mean the world to your kids), and making plans to do anything of importance the next day.

And remember that this event is not about badmouthing, trash talking or hurting the person you’ve fallen out of love with. This is an occasion to commemorate your personal path of healing and newfound independence.

By Kelly Jones

My wife and I have different opinions about the types of gifts should be given at birthdays and Christmas. I think that you should get someone “what they need” for their birthday and “what they want” for Christmas. I thinks it’s okay to give someone a 6-pack pair of socks for their birthday, while on the other hand, a vintage Gibson Les Paul is quite acceptable for Christmas. My wife thinks that a pair of socks on your birthday is okay, while a pair of Christmas themed boxers or a pair of driving gloves is also appropriate at Christmas.

Traps husbands fall in
When your better half says, “honey, now don’t go out and max out the credit card for me this year. I really don’t want anything, let’s save our money…” this actually means the opposite. Believe me, I took this literally one year
(Thank God I didn’t get her anything on her birthday, not Christmas).

Did she explain this “opposite” concept (or trap) to me? No. Thankfully, some women at work were gossiping about their moron husbands falling in the same trap. I jumped in and said that generally we guys don’t try to act stupid or thick on purpose. We just don’t know better sometimes. That’s when they called me a bastard. Let me qualify that: My wife insisted she didn’t want anything and that I should save my money for the kids. I obeyed. I’m a bastard.

The following year I splurged and spent $1000 more than usual on her. The reaction was of surprise, but not of disappointment. Less than a week later she was in line at the Boxing Day sales (Boxing Day in Canada is like Black Friday in the US, except it’s the day after Christmas, not Thanksgiving.)

Folks, our friend Grasshopper James over at Guitabites.com sent us the top 10 weirdest guitars. Check it out. It really drives home the fact that some people have too much time on their hands. Especially the scooter butcher guy.

Check out the top 10 weird guitars on guitarbites

Ever been engaged in a conversation at a party when, all of a sudden, you find yourself knee-deep in a subject you know nothing about?

Or maybe you’re going full steam ahead when you abruptly blank and have no idea where to steer the conversation next. It happens to the best of us and it doesn’t exactly impress the pants off of that hottie you’ve so far managed to charm into hanging out with you.

Thankfully, authors David Matalon and Chris Woolsey have come out with the cure for awkward silences, empty talk about the weather and worst of all, embarrassing conversation faux pas. Their book, The Concise Guide to Sounding Smart at Parties: An Irreverent Compendium of Must-Know Info from Sputnik to Smallpox and Marie Curie to Mao, is a humorous and very informative read that they say will “transform you into the supernova of the party universe.”

Co-author Matalon talked to Click Magazine recently about the book, how smart is the new sexy, and gaining the confidence to talk.

Click: One thing I found extremely troubling with the book is that it makes it sound like I won’t be able to rely on my stunning good looks anymore. Is that the case?

David Matalon: I think your stunning good looks will always come in handy. That’s just an extra bonus.

Click: Phew… Why did you feel that this book needed to be written?

DM: Well, I had been going out to parties and I had found that there were certain names and events and things that I thought were pretty much common knowledge that I would mention that people didn’t seem to remember. I remember growing up, people knew who Franz Ferdinand was. They knew who Nietzsche was and they could actually say something about them. So I felt that probably what was happening was that everyone was so busy cramming all that information in their heads at school that they had just forgotten it. And it’s really fascinating cool stuff to talk about if you approach it from the position of ‘Oh that’s interesting.’

Click: Who do you think will gain the most from reading this book?

DM: When we started out we thought it’d be great for people who are socializing a lot and going to business parties and stuff like that, but it’s amazing because I’ve sat and watched people of all ages and both sexes laugh out loud and say “Oh my God I need this book.” At the end of the day, the book doesn’t make you a genius, but it gives you the confidence to have conversations.

Click: This may sound sexist, but do you think that there’s less pressure for women to sound smart?

DM: That’s an interesting question… there are more women executives, more women in professional roles, the competition’s higher and you have to have something to say, especially if you’re trying to get the attention of your boss or someone you’re romantically interested in. If there are two women of equal beauty, but one’s got a great personality and is smart and the other isn’t… I think the smarter one’s going to get more attention.

Click: Do you see a shift in thinking that makes intelligence a higher commodity than looks or money?

DM: I think definitely for men there is. I think women have always been attracted to intelligence. But I do believe there is a shift now, especially with shows like Sex and the City, which shows that you can be beautiful and sexy, but you can also have a great job and personality and you can be more. And that archetype of that powerful woman becomes very attractive.

Click: Now… if I’ve convinced someone that I’m smart at a party, how do I keep it up at subsequent meetings?

DM: Being smart is being part of a dialog and taking an interest in the other person. There’s an awareness to see when those eyes are glazing over and stop and listen. That’s part of being smart too — listening. If you find that there’s a subject of particular interest that the other person had shared with you, go read about it. Also, go read about something that you’re not an expert on and you can talk outside your realm of usual conversation. What happens then is that you become interested in what you’re saying. I think, very often, we tell our same stories again and again and we get a little tired of ourselves. So if you’re learning things that you’re excited about, I think that’s part of what makes someone smart — their passion for the subject.

Click: We’re always told to ask lots of questions when you meet someone new and put the focus on them. Do you think that’s right?

DM: Don’t be afraid to make statements. One of our intentions with the book is to make you confident. It’s good to ask questions, but you’ve got to be careful that it doesn’t become an interview. So, I prefer statements to questions in a dating environment.

Click: Are smart people finally getting the respect they deserve?

DM: There used to be a social taboo against being an egghead or a geek, but it’s coming back. And people really respect smart people. Who doesn’t want to be as successful or as smart as someone like Gates or Trump or Jon Stewart? There’s a lot of respect for intelligence.

By Ambrose Diaz first seen on http://holidays.canoe.ca/Relationships/Lavalife/2009/12/02/12007576.html

Is Karaoke passé? Apparently not in Asia. Don’t even think of organizing a karaoke party for a group under thirty here in the US or Canada. I don’t mean thirty people. I mean thirty year olds. Aim for the Karaoke crowd around fortyish.

Another good spin on a karaoke party – making sure everybody has adequate spirits in them so that they loosen up – is to select commonly known songs but in a different language. Yes you can sing Abba’s Dancing Queen in Spanish if you rent a Spanish pack. Dean Martin or Michael Jackson in Mandarin or Vietnamese is also a hit as long as they have the English spelling on the screen (My Mandarin Chinese Pictograms computational system isn’t working very well with eight beers in me, let alone none).

See some classic Asian Karaoke failures

Following our Top 10 Background Music to Play at Every Party we received many additional comments for songs and artists that didn’t make the list.  We also got requests from you suggesting things to play that would make the neighbors and in-laws leave.

Here’s when you know the party’s over and the host wants you out.  Now.

1.  The Bird Dance (It’s a German Beer Garden Oompah song)

German Oompahpah

Anything Polka and/or German Oompah even played during Oktoberfest will drive me to a drinking binge.  You know the expression “drink to forget” or “water down your sorrows”?  Well the inventor of this expression was in Baden Baden or Hamburg stuck listening to this crap.  What is it about German drinking music and the goddamm accordions?

2.  Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – George Michael/Wham

Nothing needs to be said about Wham!  No, really.  Nothing.  Please bury the tapes.

Wham! WTF?

We wanted to show a video to sober everybody up but youtube says “this video cannot be played in your country…”  Thank God for Canada!  No Wham! here!  Too bad we couldn’t say that about #3 just below.

3.  You’re Having My Baby by Paul Anka

Paul Anka When Will You Retire?

I can just picture Anka (this is where I’m not proud that he’s Canadian.  But it’s understandable, he hails from Ottawa, doesn’t he?) him singing this as she’s lying there in the 32^nd hour of labor, epidural worn off, and awaiting a C-Section without anasthesia.

4.  Sometimes When We Touch by Dan Hill

Don't Touch Me!

The only thing I want you to touch is the volume knob or the on/off switch.

Check the video for yourself

5.  You’re Beautiful James Blunt

So let me look at you while you shut the fuck up Jimmy!

James Blunt

6.  The Little Drummer Boy by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

Tabernacle!(subtle French Canadian word)

When I hear this version, I’m reminded of why Helen Keller must have been happy being deaf.  I also wished I could be listening to the David Bowie/Bing Crosby version where I can’t tell who’s who.  Thank God that Christmas music is only played 2 weeks months a year

7.  Hopelessly Devoted to You by– Olivia Newton John (Neutron Bomb, ha ha)

Didn’t her moniker “Olivia Neutron Bomb” appear as a result of this song?

Olivia Neutron Bomb

If it weren’t for Grease and John Travolta, or that Physical video in the early eighties, I guess the only thing that would have come out of Australia would be Paul Hogan and the Crocodile Dundee movies.  Oh wait, we’ve still got that piss-beer called Foster’s.  Oh yeah, and Nicole Kidman.

8.  Gimme Dat Ding by The Pipkins (1971)

Just check out the album cover art.  Says it all. Check out the video if you want to bring up your lunch.

9.  Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners

I thought this tune was catchy when I was in my teens

Dexy Midnight Runners - Remember Eileen? I'm trying not to

but upon careful thought this is when I thought I looked pretty cool with zits all over my face.  When I thought Eileen was a pretty good radio song, nobody else did.

10.  Even In the Quietest Moments by Supertramp

I admit some Supertramp is classic and “listenable”.

SuperCramp!

But some of their material delves into the evil unlistenable and is apparently regularly heard in Guantanamo Bay.  Even the Cubans have asked Obama to stop playing this shit.  Would someone make sure Roger Hodgson and the Tramp never play this in public.

Honorable Mentions

Anything by Wutang Clan

You’ve gotta admit it.  This makes you want to shoot somebody or get in the car and do a drive by.

Wutang Clan

In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly

One acid trip too many or gone wrong?  Guys make music we can all enjoy.

Iron Butterfly

Ornette Coleman – Freejazz

Ornette Coleman Free Jazz

Chinese torture music even for true Jazz aficionados.  Miles Davis reportedly punched Coleman in the face for making such noise and tried to put a hit on him.