Altralto

Following our Top 10 Background Music to Play at Every Party we received many additional comments for songs and artists that didn’t make the list.  We also got requests from you suggesting things to play that would make the neighbors and in-laws leave.

Here’s when you know the party’s over and the host wants you out.  Now.

1.  The Bird Dance (It’s a German Beer Garden Oompah song)

German Oompahpah

Anything Polka and/or German Oompah even played during Oktoberfest will drive me to a drinking binge.  You know the expression “drink to forget” or “water down your sorrows”?  Well the inventor of this expression was in Baden Baden or Hamburg stuck listening to this crap.  What is it about German drinking music and the goddamm accordions?

2.  Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – George Michael/Wham

Nothing needs to be said about Wham!  No, really.  Nothing.  Please bury the tapes.

We wanted to show a video to sober everybody up but youtube says “this video cannot be played in your country…”  Thank God for Canada!  No Wham! here!  Too bad we couldn’t say that about #3 just below.

3.  You’re Having My Baby by Paul Anka

Paul Anka When Will You Retire?

I can just picture Anka (this is where I’m not proud that he’s Canadian.  But it’s understandable, he hails from Ottawa, doesn’t he?) him singing this as she’s lying there in the 32^nd hour of labor, epidural worn off, and awaiting a C-Section without anasthesia.

4.  Sometimes When We Touch by Dan Hill

Don't Touch Me!

The only thing I want you to touch is the volume knob or the on/off switch.

Check the video for yourself

5.  You’re Beautiful James Blunt

So let me look at you while you shut the fuck up Jimmy!

When I hear this version, I’m reminded of why Helen Keller must have been happy being deaf.  I also wished I could be listening to the David Bowie/Bing Crosby version where I can’t tell who’s who.  Thank God that Christmas music is only played 2 weeks months a year

7.  Hopelessly Devoted to You by– Olivia Newton John (Neutron Bomb, ha ha)

Didn’t her moniker “Olivia Neutron Bomb” appear as a result of this song?

If it weren’t for Grease and John Travolta, or that Physical video in the early eighties, I guess the only thing that would have come out of Australia would be Paul Hogan and the Crocodile Dundee movies.  Oh wait, we’ve still got that piss-beer called Foster’s.  Oh yeah, and Nicole Kidman.

8.  Gimme Dat Ding by The Pipkins (1971)

Just check out the album cover art.  Says it all. Check out the video if you want to bring up your lunch.

9.  Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners

I thought this tune was catchy when I was in my teens

but upon careful thought this is when I thought I looked pretty cool with zits all over my face.  When I thought Eileen was a pretty good radio song, nobody else did.

10.  Even In the Quietest Moments by Supertramp

I admit some Supertramp is classic and “listenable”.

But some of their material delves into the evil unlistenable and is apparently regularly heard in Guantanamo Bay.  Even the Cubans have asked Obama to stop playing this shit.  Would someone make sure Roger Hodgson and the Tramp never play this in public.

Honorable Mentions

Anything by Wutang Clan

You’ve gotta admit it.  This makes you want to shoot somebody or get in the car and do a drive by.

In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly

One acid trip too many or gone wrong?  Guys make music we can all enjoy.

Ornette Coleman – Freejazz

Chinese torture music even for true Jazz aficionados.  Miles Davis reportedly punched Coleman in the face for making such noise and tried to put a hit on him.