Altralto

Ever been engaged in a conversation at a party when, all of a sudden, you find yourself knee-deep in a subject you know nothing about?

Or maybe you’re going full steam ahead when you abruptly blank and have no idea where to steer the conversation next. It happens to the best of us and it doesn’t exactly impress the pants off of that hottie you’ve so far managed to charm into hanging out with you.

Thankfully, authors David Matalon and Chris Woolsey have come out with the cure for awkward silences, empty talk about the weather and worst of all, embarrassing conversation faux pas. Their book, The Concise Guide to Sounding Smart at Parties: An Irreverent Compendium of Must-Know Info from Sputnik to Smallpox and Marie Curie to Mao, is a humorous and very informative read that they say will “transform you into the supernova of the party universe.”

Co-author Matalon talked to Click Magazine recently about the book, how smart is the new sexy, and gaining the confidence to talk.

Click: One thing I found extremely troubling with the book is that it makes it sound like I won’t be able to rely on my stunning good looks anymore. Is that the case?

David Matalon: I think your stunning good looks will always come in handy. That’s just an extra bonus.

Click: Phew… Why did you feel that this book needed to be written?

DM: Well, I had been going out to parties and I had found that there were certain names and events and things that I thought were pretty much common knowledge that I would mention that people didn’t seem to remember. I remember growing up, people knew who Franz Ferdinand was. They knew who Nietzsche was and they could actually say something about them. So I felt that probably what was happening was that everyone was so busy cramming all that information in their heads at school that they had just forgotten it. And it’s really fascinating cool stuff to talk about if you approach it from the position of ‘Oh that’s interesting.’

Click: Who do you think will gain the most from reading this book?

DM: When we started out we thought it’d be great for people who are socializing a lot and going to business parties and stuff like that, but it’s amazing because I’ve sat and watched people of all ages and both sexes laugh out loud and say “Oh my God I need this book.” At the end of the day, the book doesn’t make you a genius, but it gives you the confidence to have conversations.

Click: This may sound sexist, but do you think that there’s less pressure for women to sound smart?

DM: That’s an interesting question… there are more women executives, more women in professional roles, the competition’s higher and you have to have something to say, especially if you’re trying to get the attention of your boss or someone you’re romantically interested in. If there are two women of equal beauty, but one’s got a great personality and is smart and the other isn’t… I think the smarter one’s going to get more attention.

Click: Do you see a shift in thinking that makes intelligence a higher commodity than looks or money?

DM: I think definitely for men there is. I think women have always been attracted to intelligence. But I do believe there is a shift now, especially with shows like Sex and the City, which shows that you can be beautiful and sexy, but you can also have a great job and personality and you can be more. And that archetype of that powerful woman becomes very attractive.

Click: Now… if I’ve convinced someone that I’m smart at a party, how do I keep it up at subsequent meetings?

DM: Being smart is being part of a dialog and taking an interest in the other person. There’s an awareness to see when those eyes are glazing over and stop and listen. That’s part of being smart too — listening. If you find that there’s a subject of particular interest that the other person had shared with you, go read about it. Also, go read about something that you’re not an expert on and you can talk outside your realm of usual conversation. What happens then is that you become interested in what you’re saying. I think, very often, we tell our same stories again and again and we get a little tired of ourselves. So if you’re learning things that you’re excited about, I think that’s part of what makes someone smart — their passion for the subject.

Click: We’re always told to ask lots of questions when you meet someone new and put the focus on them. Do you think that’s right?

DM: Don’t be afraid to make statements. One of our intentions with the book is to make you confident. It’s good to ask questions, but you’ve got to be careful that it doesn’t become an interview. So, I prefer statements to questions in a dating environment.

Click: Are smart people finally getting the respect they deserve?

DM: There used to be a social taboo against being an egghead or a geek, but it’s coming back. And people really respect smart people. Who doesn’t want to be as successful or as smart as someone like Gates or Trump or Jon Stewart? There’s a lot of respect for intelligence.

By Ambrose Diaz first seen on http://holidays.canoe.ca/Relationships/Lavalife/2009/12/02/12007576.html