In response to the top albums to play at a cocktail party, I felt compelled to provide ways of how to get rid of annoying people.
1. The Bird Dance (It’s a German Beer Garden Oompahpah song
Anything Polka and/or German Oompah even played during Oktoberfest will drive me to a drinking binge. You know the expression “drink to forget” or “water down your sorrows”? Well the inventor of this expression was in Baden Baden or Hamburg stuck listening to this crap. What is it about German drinking music and the goddamn accordions?
2. Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – George Michael/Wham
Nothing needs to be said about Wham! No, really. Nothing. Please bury the tapes.
3. You’re Having My Baby by Paul Anka
Paul Anka When Will You Retire? I can just picture Anka (this is where I’m not proud that he’s Canadian. But it’s understandable; he hails from Ottawa, doesn’t he?) him singing this as she’s lying there in the 32nd hour of labor, epidural worn off, and awaiting a C-Section without anesthesia.
4. Sometimes When We Touch by Dan Hill
Don’t Touch Me! The only thing I want you to touch is the volume knob or the on/off switch.
5. You’re Beautiful James Blunt
So let me look at you while you shut the fuck up James!
6. The Little Drummer Boy by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
When I hear this version, I’m reminded of why Helen Keller must have been happy being deaf. I also wished I could be listening to the David Bowie/Bing Crosby version where I can’t tell who’s who. Thank God that Christmas music is only played 2 months a year. If this is not how to get rid of people, then you tell me.
7. Hopelessly Devoted to You by– Olivia Newton John (Neutron Bomb, ha ha)
Didn’t her moniker “Olivia Neutron Bomb” appear as a result of this song?
If it weren’t for Grease and John Travolta, or that Physical video in the early eighties, I guess the only thing that would have come out of Australia would be Paul Hogan and the Crocodile Dundee movies. Oh wait, we’ve still got that piss-beer called Foster’s. Oh yeah, and Nicole Kidman.
8. Gimme Dat Ding by The Pipkins (1971)
Just check out the album cover art. Says it all. Check out the video if you want to bring up your lunch.
9. Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners
I thought this tune was catchy when I was in my teens
Dexy Midnight Runners – Remember Eileen? I’m trying not to but upon careful thought this is when I thought I looked pretty cool with zits all over my face. When I thought Eileen was a pretty good radio song, nobody else did.
10. Even In the Quietest Moments by Supertramp
If you really want to know how to get rid of annoying people play this. Some (most) Supertramp material delves into the evil unlistenable and is apparently regularly heard in Guantanamo Bay. Even the Cubans have asked Obama to stop playing this shit. Would someone make sure Roger Hodgson and the Tramp never play this in public?
If this is not how to get rid of annoying people then you tell me.
10 Bad Songs to Play – How to Get Rid of Annoying People at a Party